Tagged Satire

An Open Letter

TO: George Galloway FROM: Me RE: My Role in Bringing about Your Defeat Dear Mr. Galloway: Having lost your recent election by a rather large margin–and it must have been really embarrassing to have been so comprehensively routed–you decided that it would be a good idea to blame “racists and Zionists” for your defeat. Despite the fact that I am not a racist, I am a Zionist, and a Zionist Jew to boot. I write this piece to claim responsibility for having helped engender your political demise.

An Open Letter

TO: Thomas Piketty FROM: Pejman Yousefzadeh RE: Incurring Paul Krugman’s Contempt Dear Professor Piketty: Congratulations on successfully positioning yourself so that you may be looked down upon by Paul Krugman until the end of time itself. Your ability to cause Professor Krugman to consider you to be less intellectually developed than your average paramecium–and make no mistake; this is what he must think of you right now, given that you have the temerity to disagree with him–is tremendously impressive and merits your warm welcome into a special club of people whom Professor Krugman considers to be the dust and grime beneath the…

More on the Charlie Hebdo Murders

Let’s run through a list of news updates . . . 1. Al Jazeera is not a real news organization: As journalists worldwide reacted with universal revulsion at the massacre of some of their own by Islamic jihadists in Paris, Al Jazeera English editor and executive producer Salah-Aldeen Khadr sent out a staff-wide e-mail. “Please accept this note in the spirit it is intended — to make our coverage the best it can be,” the London-based Khadr wrote Thursday, in the first of a series of internal e-mails leaked to National Review Online. “We are Al Jazeera!” Below was a list of “suggestions” for how anchors and correspondents…

The Charlie Hebdo Murders

George Packer’s response is precisely right: The murders today in Paris are not a result of France’s failure to assimilate two generations of Muslim immigrants from its former colonies. They’re not about French military action against the Islamic State in the Middle East, or the American invasion of Iraq before that. They’re not part of some general wave of nihilistic violence in the economically depressed, socially atomized, morally hollow West—the Paris version of Newtown or Oslo. Least of all should they be “understood” as reactions to disrespect for religion on the part of irresponsible cartoonists. They are only the latest blows…

A Modest Job Application

Behold. The awesomeness of this post starts with the salutation itself. My favorite part: “Social entrepreneurs” are not a field, as the sentence’s syntax suggests, and that final clause could be made nimbler by using the adjective “social” only once, as here: “social entrepreneurs, intrapreneurs, and change makers.” In addition, it’s not clear that “change makers” constitutes a broader category than “entrepreneurs,” yet neither is it obviously more specific. Given my exposure to creative industries like literature, I would be excited to invent more terminology to make this list of synonyms for “businessman” even longer. But innovating new ways of…

A Modest Appreciation of Vox.com

Do be sure to check out this brilliant, marvelous, incandescently stupendous piece by our very own Messiah of the Moment, Max “I used to be Otto von Bismarck in a previous life” Fisher, in which Fisher discusses the Obama administration’s attempt to deter Vladimir Putin from gobbling up any of the Baltic states. Especially wonderful and heartwarming is Fisher’s tendency to breathlessly explain the principles of deterrence to his audience as though (a) he just learned about those principles and (b) Fisher’s audience consists exclusively of two-year olds. Consider the following excerpt: President Obama gave a speech on Wednesday, in a…

Jason Brennan Is Wrong

These aren’t hard questions, and as a libertarian-conservative, I am more than happy to provide answers. Behold: 1. Fabio Rojas suggested via social media that I obey the Koch brother who is willing to be the highest bidder. Sounds like a plan to me. 2. Coca-Cola. (As though this was a hard question to answer.) 3. If there is no supply of poor people ready to mete out some libertarian justice, definitely go with the kicking. Your shoes will protect your feet from bruising and fracture. 4. You see right through me. 5. At least there was no reality television back in…