Your Absolutely Non-Shocking News of the Day

Behold:

Crimeans voted overwhelmingly Sunday to leave Ukraine and join Russia, election officials in the breakaway peninsula said, with the extraordinarily high figures capping a one-sided campaign of intimidation and heavy-handed tactics that blocked most voters from hearing a vision for any alternative other than unification with Moscow.

In related–and equally non-shocking–news, not all “votes” constitute genuine expressions of the popular will.