Boy, It’s a Good Thing We Don’t Have Any Major Problems that Need Solving in this Country!

Otherwise, some people might get upset that the government is wasting time regulating piano teachers:

Teddy Roosevelt busted Standard Oil. The Obama administration? It’s making the world safe from rapacious piano teachers.

Every month, it seems, brings a new story of this presidency leveling the intimidating powers of the federal government against some law-abiding citizen. Now comes a terrifying tale of how the Federal Trade Commission, a governmental Goliath, crushes an average David—because it can.

In March of this year, a small nonprofit in Cincinnati—the Music Teachers National Association—received a letter from the FTC. The agency was investigating whether the association was engaged in, uh, anticompetitive practices.

This was bizarre, given that the MTNA has existed since 1876 solely to advance the cause of music study and support music teachers. The 501(c)(3) has about 22,000 members, nearly 90% of them piano teachers, including many women who earn a modest living giving lessons in their homes. The group promotes music study and competitions and helps train teachers. Not exactly U.S. Steel.

I would write something along the lines of “the mind reels,” or “are you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kidding me” at this point, but again, as we all know, we don’t have any problems of note or significance in the country that need to be addressed by the federal government. And as we all know, the government has got to keep busy somehow. So really, it is good that the FTC is busy ensuring that piano teachers walk the regulatory straight and narrow. After all, you never know what evil might lurk in the hearts of those pedagogues of ivory tickling.