All You Need Is Money (Warren Zevon Edition)

With all due respect to the late, great Warren Zevon, there was never any need for anyone to send him lawyers, guns and money, and I write the foregoing as a lawyer. Let us consider the lyrics to his song:

  1. If one is “gambling in Havana” and gets in trouble as a consequence of taking “a little risk,” then the only thing that one needs is money. Lawyers (who doubtless come from the United States) would likely not be able to do much in the context of the Castroite Cuban legal system, and the Cuban army has many more guns than Zevon’s arms supplier likely does. Money, by contrast, will settle gambling debts, provide a bribe to get Zevon out of any trouble, and goose the Cuban economy–perhaps someone will be able to get a 1970s automobile, instead of being stuck with a clunker that was fashionable back when Dwight Eisenhower was president.
  2. With respect to the lyrics concerning “hiding in Honduras” and “being a desperate man,” again, money is the answer to Zevon’s problems. It is unclear how American lawyers would fare in Honduran courts, and any arms shipments run the risk of being intercepted. Money, however, might have been gotten easier to Zevon via wire, and he could have used the money to personally purchase weaponry (thus ensuring that it would not get intercepted in transit), and get himself a good Honduran lawyer who knows the ins and outs of the legal system in that country, and possibly has contacts in high places who can be called upon to deliver significant favors for Zevon.

As such, I would strongly urge anyone in charge of Zevon’s estate to push for an amendment to his lyrics. As a lawyer, I might be able to facilitate such a change. The estate just needs to send money to pay my legal fees; I doubt that guns will be necessary.