In Which Edgar Allan Poe Pays Homage to the Chicago Blackhawks

After the Chicago Blackhawks triumphed this evening over the Boston Bruins, winning the Stanley Cup in a six game series, the ghost of Edgar Allan Poe visited me and demanded that I take down the following poem that he composed in praise of my hometown Blackhawks. I offer it now for your reading and reciting pleasure. Admittedly, Poe is out of practice when it comes to composing poems, given that he has been dead for 164 years, but I think that he still has enough of the old magic left in him to make poetry lovers sit up and take notice.

Anyway, without further ado, I give you Poe, resurrected: 

Once upon an evening dreary, with the Bruins, beat and weary,
With their faces sad and teary and hearts dragging on the floor.
While the Blackhawks celebrated, the Bruins to their foes migrated,
Even though they truly hated what for them was now in store.
“Tap, tap tap,” did the Bruins on the Blackhawks’ locker door.
“Away,” said the Blackhawks. “You saw the score.”

“Oh Blackhawks,” said the Brui
ns. “You have brought us woe and ruin.
“Brought shame upon our crew and have achieved a higher score.
“But now, we’ve come to ask you, to charge, request and task you.
“Corey Crawford, put on your mask, you, and let’s go and play some more.
“Give us another chance at Stanley, and let’s go and play some more.”
Quoth the Blackhawks, “NEVERMORE!”

“Blackhawks,” said Team Boston. “Your obstinance is costin’
“Us redemption. We know we’ve lost and we’ve no right to anything more.
“But upon us take some pity, because our souls now feel quite s****y,
“There’s despair within our city, another shot we do implore.
“To take the Stanley Cup another shot we do implore.”
Quoth the Blackhawks, “NEVERMORE!”

“Blackhawks,” cried Team Beantown. “You know, you’re being mean now.
“If only you could have seen how Bostonians are sick and sore.
“We are beaten now in hockey, but Solo said ‘don’t get cocky,’
“Clubber Lang once gave Rocky a chance to even the score.
“We’re admittedly not from Philly, but we want to even the score.”
Quoth the Blackhawks, “NEVERMORE!”

“Blackhawks,” screamed Massachusetts. “We know that it’s quite useless
“To chew your ears off since we’re toothless after hockey fights galore.
“Instead, your ears entreat we, your championship conceit we
“Seek to use to cause deceit; we want to play one series more.
“Oh come now, in your hubris, consent to just one series more.”
Quoth the Blackhawks, “NEVERMORE!”

And with that, the Bruins scattered, with the Blackhawks not quite flattered
To think that Boston’s begging mattered. There wouldn’t be one series more.
Lord Stanley’s Cup made bolder the great City of Big Shoulders,
Which has the Field of Soldiers where the Bears will Packers gore.
Let’s now look to autumn, when the Bears will Packers gore,
And win Chicago championships more.